What they didn't report

The Pentagon has withheld a number of Khalid Sheik Mohammed's confessed crimes pending notification of historians. Among the items not included in the Pentagon report:

• He engineered the Battle of the Little Bighorn
• He planned the sinkings of the Lusitania and the Titanic
• He personally assassinated Arch Duke Ferdinand, the Romanovs and Leon Trotsky
  
• He trained Charles Manson
• It was he who actually kidnapped the Lindbergh baby (but gave credit to friend Bruno Hauptmann)
• He supplied the gunpowder to Guy Fawkes
• He blew up the Hindenburg
• He planned the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor
• He led the sack of Rome
• He poisoned Socrates
• From his prison cell he arranged for a colleague to put the "goo" in Michael Waltrip's Toyota
  
• He precipitated the Salem Witch Trials
• He invented trans-fat
• He claimed responsibility for Global Warming (not verified)
• The caused the eruption of Mt Vesuvius
• He tempted Eve
• He was the recreation director of Sodom (and later Gomorrah)
• He was responsible for "New Coke"
• He financed the movie "Gigli"
• He was second in command to Genghis Khan
• He engineered the "Great Depression"

Investigators still have many questions about some of KSH's activities - especially those that occurred before he was born -- but the fact that he has confessed to these heinous crimes should be sufficient cause for his trial to go forward. Said one investigator referring to the sinking of the Lusitania and Titanic "The fact that no major cruise ship has been sunk since his capture is pretty strong evidence that he was telling us the truth."

Fire Billy Packer!

Billy Packer should be banned from working any UNC game forever. How that bast*rd could say that Henderson's FLAGRANT foul against Hansborough was incidental shows his utter contempt for Carolina. Luckily, the refs didn't have Packer's anti-Carolina bias and threw Henderson out of the game. Going for the ball my ass! Packer, you suck!

Time Keeps on Slippin'

You know how it is. You get busy and think: "gee, I'll bet my loyal readers are probably missing the words of wisdom I used to dispense. But, I'm really busy so maybe I'll write a little something tomorrow." Of course, tomorrow never comes and the next thing you know, three months have gone by.

Now the problem is - what do I rail about? Does anyone care that *I* think that NASCAR is getting too complicated? Nope, probably not. Does anyone care that *I* think Alltel should be prohibited from sponsoring any more basketball games until they make a new commercial (I'm all for recycling but, gee guys, you wore us out with that one last year and my thumb is getting sore from switching channels every time I see your commercial). There may be a few basketball fans that would agree with me on this issue. Speaking of basketball, does anyone else think that Billy Packer should be restricted from calling Carolina games? He hates Carolina. He has ALWAYS hated Carolina and he's becoming a bit of a curmudgeon - and not the amusing kind.

Is anyone as tired of hearing from or about political conservatives and evangelicals as I am? You guys had six years of annoying the piss out of the rest of America so how about taking a break? How about, just for once, supporting a candidate who would be good for the country and not just in lock-step with your tiresome issues? You're probably going to have to support either McCain or Giuliani in 2008 so suck it up. Wait, you're not holding out for another Bush are you? That would be way too devious - even for you. If you really want to turn the political process on its head, support Hillary.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: I got an email from our friends at WFDD Public Radio. Seems they're hosting a reception for Bob Edwards here in our fair city on March 5th, complete with food and drink. Now Bob is somewhat of an icon (they say so in the email) and we were all righteously indignant when NPR gave him the boot; however, since finding a home at WUNC in Chapel Hill he has managed to come up with one of the most sincere and gut-wrenchingly TEDIOUS radio shows I have ever tried to suffer through. Initially, I figured that he was new and had a hard time finding interesting guests but as time wears on, no matter how hard Bob emotes, it doesn't distract from the fact that his guests are just...boring. Now, having said that I'm sure there are many earnest people who will disagree with me because when it comes to public radio the more boring, the better, but I betcha there's a bigwig at NPR who is feeling pretty daggoned vindicated right about now.

Darn! Busy again. Soon and very soon,