Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Confidentiality Notices (hate 'em)

"This e-mail is for the sole use of the individual for whom it is intended. If you are neither the intended recipient, nor agent responsible for delivering this e-mail to the intended recipient, any disclosure, retransmission, copying, or taking action in reliance on this information is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the person transmitting the information immediately. All e-mail correspondence to and from this e-mail address may be subject to NC Public Records Law which result in monitoring and disclosure to third parties, including law enforcement. In compliance with federal laws blah blah blah and your mother"

Who came up with these things? Lawyers, right? And what is our response to these things? SO FREAKIN' WHAT! The first line reminds me of something from an old Lily Tomlin routine "Is this the party to whom I am speaking?" What is truly heinous about these things is that sender doesn't have much control of them. They are automatically tacked on to all outgoing messages. During a typical email exchange where there might be three or four replies, each one from the Notice-enabled sender appends the notice to the email, making for one long message.

I know some of you might defend these things because they make your messages seem more official, more hoity-toity, more intelligent--but they don't really. There is nothing keeping me from deleting the notice and forwarding to anybody I feel like. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. Of course, I won't do such a thing because I tend toward being ethical (tend toward).

So, take a stand. Tell the big brother than makes you use these things to kiss your ass OR, make up your own confidentiality notice like the one below:
Hey, I sent this message to you. Don't be a jerk and go forwarding it to my boss/girlfriend/wife/parole officer/massage therapist (wink wink). If you do and I found out about it , I will so kick your ass. If I don't know where you live right now I can find out pretty quick and your car/dog/cat/boat/girlfriend just might not be where you left it. Oh, by the way, if you don't respond to this message in a timely manner (like within the next 15 minutes) I will call your phones repeatedly until you do. Have a nice day


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