Friday, May 01, 2009

May Day memories

Who would have ever thought that twenty some odd years hence, we'd be missing the old Soviet Union? Every May 1st I start getting a little nostalgic for the old Soviet Empire and those great parades they'd have through Red Square - heck, do they even call Red Square, "Red Square" any more?

Remember all those Soviet military officers with their chests full of medals wearing those impossibly large military-style hats reviewing rows and rows of grim-faced Soviet troops leading trucks pulling ballistic missiles and followed by all those huge tanks - tanks that Tim Clancy once envisioned rolling across the German countryside on their way to a date with destiny. Actually Clancy, shilling for Republic, had those tanks being chewed up by A-10 Warthogs - but that is another story (several stories actually, but I digress).

Today, I imagine the elite of Moscow are enjoying their May Day with chilled glasses of Clicquot and Beluga with toast points while cruising in their Mercedes wondering when the price of oil is going to rebound or when they can ship their latest "recruits" to the brothels in Europe and America. Let's face it, the Sovs just aren't any fun anymore.

Who wouldn't long for the days of Mutually Assured Destruction now that our economy is in shambles and the worst thing we have to face is a pandemic and maybe some al-Quaeda terrorist plot. Sure those things are scary too but they're sort of faceless. At least the Sovs were like us -granted, nobody could understand them but their women were hot and had sexy accents and the men, while crude, hairy and smelly were sentimental drunks whose asses we could easily kick if it ever came to that.

Maybe tonight I will dig out my DVD of Dr. Strangelove and relive those thrilling days of yesteryear sipping on a cold Budweiser and remembering May Day the way it used to be.

Addendum: Somebody just reminded me of the days BEFORE the Soviets when May day meant free love and Maypoles and buxon wenches serving frothy steins of beer - wait, isn't that October Fest? Now, I'm confused


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