Thursday, November 02, 2006

Out of business, baby!

It's official. Becky Sue and I are out of the baby business. Unofficially, we've been out of the baby business since Baby Boy #2 was born 21 years ago but up until Monday all the equipment was in theoretical working order - now it's not, for one of us anyway.

Becky Sue, of hardy mountain stock, birthed both our beefy baby boys using nothing more than breath control and had not seen the inside of a hospital since they set her shattered ankle (without anesthetic btw) 15 years ago. She was not looking forward to spending time in a hospital this time either. When the day of the operation finally arrived we made our way to Greensboro's excellent Women's Hospital where the whole business of reproduction is like child's play to them (if you'll forgive the pun). Becky Sue was determined to tough it out but when I couldn't find the rawhide scrap she planned to bite down on (I think our granddog, Buster, found it first), she reluctantly agreed to let the anesthesiologist do it his way. Two hours and one uterus later, she was up in her room, a little groggy but ready to get dressed and go home. Alas, the doctor had other ideas.

She ended up spending two nights there with nurses prodding her every couple of hours to make sure she didn't waste any of her time in the hospital sleeping. She was raring to go yesterday morning but one delay followed another, so it was after lunch (Women's Hospital does a nice meatloaf if you ever get the chance to try it) before we got out of there. Becky Sue is now at home recuperating under the watchful eye of her diminutive dutiful 86-year-old mama. Becky Sue's supposed to be on leave for 4 weeks but I don't expect her to stay put that long. With a school fire and an election in the offing her newspaperwoman soul can't stand being away from the action.

Back at the office, my co-worker is huge with twins (and she's not due until Februrary!) which provides an interesting counterpoint to Becky Sue's current condition. If I was more of a philosopher I might say something about the grand spectrum of womanhood or the circle of life or the Karmic wheel or something, but I'm not, so consider yourselves lucky.

Holler at Becky Sue if you get a chance. She's already bored to tears.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know Bob, there was a much EASIER way to accomplish the safe-sex agenda: YOU could've gone under the knife!

I did, and I'm a changed man!

Well, I used to be a man, anyway...

And hell no, I ain't revealin' my identity. I'll give you a clue, though: I was fired before I ever started work!

8:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home