Tuesday, February 07, 2006

True Crime

If you're one of the millions of people who watch one or more of CBS's CSI shows you might occasionally feel sorry for the poor writers who have to come up with a new plots every week. You know they're struggling because some of the plots are sooooo farfetched they strain credulity.

Luckily, the good folks from down Selma, NC way are the obliging sort of people who have helped to make North Carolina the "interesting and unique place to be murdered" state it has become. (Do I smell a new state motto?). The murder I'm speaking of was buried (sorry, couldn't resist) on one of the News and Record's back pages this morning. It's a classic tale of missing persons, dismembered bodies, false identity and "weapons of mass destruction" (how a sawed-off shotgun got to be a weapon of mass destruction is beyond me, but who am I to argue?). Anyway, this case just screams to be a CSI plot. It has the requisite ewwwww factor: the dismembered limbs have been mouldering in the ground since 1997 and the limbs belong to not one, but at least two different people. You can almost hear medical examiner, Alexx Woods turn to Horatio Caine and say: "Horatio, I've got two left femurs here." to which he will reply "I think our killer just tripped himself up."

Of course, the story needs a little polishing. The killers in most CSI plots are attractive wealthy people and not the "salt of the earth" types the current suspects appear to be - but you never can tell from mugshots. The Johnston County Sheriff's office is being typically cagey about the details of this crime, especially about the supposed "tip" they got about it in the first place so I'm going to presume they really don't know jack about the case. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if the SBI wasn't poking around Johnston County at this very moment. But, who cares? I'm sure the CSI writers will fill in the gaps with their own devices.

That's all I've got for you today except to note that North Carolina - and Wilmington in particular - has been prominently mentioned in "Surface" over the past few episodes and last night Wilmington was drowned by a tsunami. I hope that the New Hanover County board of tourism hasn't been inundated with callers concerned about their summer vacations.

TV is my life.


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